


My Big, Fat Mouth

by jaycat8214



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 07:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16445627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaycat8214/pseuds/jaycat8214
Summary: A poem to write about feelings that have been stewing for a couple of days now. Contains self-hatred and angst.





	My Big, Fat Mouth

Blabber, blabber.  
That’s all my mouth can do.  
All that comes out are sounds,  
But they are not words.  
They are simply instruments used to hurt people,  
However unintentionally.

Sometimes I wonder,  
If it would be better I didn’t speak at all.  
Then I remember all the times I helped others by speaking,  
All the times I didn’t hurt other.

But then I remember all the times I did.  
The times where my words were swords that slashed through people’s feelings,  
Swords that chopped down people’s ego like they were saplings.

No matter how much the helpful times outweighs the bad,  
Only the bad remain.  
They haunt my dream,  
Every fibre of my being.

Each encounter becomes scars on my heart.  
Scars that I hack at and bleed every time they heal.  
Relentlessly so I feel the same pain I caused.

Yet, that is only to ease my own conscious.  
I can never know the pains I caused someone else,  
Never less try to inflict it upon myself.

I know I can never be a perfect person, is there even such a thing as one?  
But why do I have to be the person who hurts others?  
Why am I so filled with stereotypes that influence every word I say,  
Words that attack others?

I try to change,  
Change so I don’t hurt people.  
Yet, change is hard.  
Not because I don’t want to,  
But because I’m rotten to the very core.

This filth has been growing since I was a child,  
And if I wanted to get rid of it,  
Who would I be?  
I am so full of this evil slime that if I get rid of it,  
What will remain?  
Is there even a good part about me?

So as I change or not change,  
This filth will continue to grow,  
And I will continue to drown in it.


End file.
